Last month, I wrote a post about free horses in Texas where I was a bit dumbfounded about people wanting everything for nothing or throwing horses away that were no longer valuable.  I received the following comment from Liz on that post:

I think it would be really neat if you did a “part II” response post to this one where you have tallied the # hours you rode/trainer rode, # hours at barn not riding, # vet visits, # shows attended, places obtained at the show, and sum total $$ spent in only one month on Simon. Add any other necessary fact blippets along the way. Maybe it would help someone to see that kind of information. :-\

So in my spare time one night, I did just that – I calculated how much I have spent on Simon since moving to my current barn last May.  I cringed, and then saved the note on my phone never to be heard of again.

Then Sprinkler Bandit wrote this post asking how much our horses cost us and I remembered my tally.  I commented on this post that Simon cost me $0, which as we all know is far from the truth.  So I dug up my expense tally from last month and cringed (again).  Though I have no interest in y’all (or my husband… or my father) knowing exactly how much I have spent on Sir Simonpants, I will provide some infographics that I think shed some light on his upkeep.

The moral of the story is… to get something you can show and do okay with, you either pay up front or you pay later (usually both).

First, we have to house our pony in a place that has a lighted arena and safe facilities.

And of course there are his feetsies, we don’t do any special bells and whistles here…

One should note I’m rather behind on current films.  Viva la Netflix!  The final “must do” for Simon’s basic care is of course the vet.

After basic care, come the optionals… like the new saddle I needed to get this year to fit his highness’ straight back.

Note:  I’m not sure it’s physically possible to eat that many breakfast tacos in one year… but I digress.  Then I have to get training rides to improve the rideability and value of my creature.

Without training rides, I feel the need to drink substantially more alcohol… so there is that.  Plus we need lessons so I don’t ride my newly trained horse like a nincompoop.

P.S. If you haven’t got a pair of rainbow sandals, you aren’t living… but I doubt you will need 60 of them.  Finally, there’s the all important horse showing!  What’s the point of all those lessons and training if we can’t go pay a lot of money to compete against children for satin ribbons?

You may be thinking, “Wow these are really random comparisons Lauren,” but when I started to do things like “Dinners out” or “Plane tickets to Japan” I was worried my husband would find this list and realize all the cool stuff we could do if we didn’t have Simon, and therefore divorce me.

So nail polish and polo shirts it is!

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